Maybe He's Just Not That Into Me

Scott proabably won't like it that I'm posting this. He is one of the 2 most insanely private people I know (the other is Riley). I entered a contest to get a Charm City Cake, where you had to share your best b-day memory ever. Since Scott never reads our blog, here's mine:

In college, I had a huge crush on a boy in my German class. My roommates nicknamed him “grunge boy”, for his love of alternative rock and an affinity for accessorizing with safety pins. As the semester progressed, we spent more and more of our free time together, but I could never tell if he was really interested in me. We flirted shamelessly, but he never even so much as held my hand. One morning, after staying up all night talking, I began hoping that he might finally make a move. However, while driving me home he dashed all my hopes, when he actually said, “We’ve been together for twelve hours and I don’t even want to kiss you”. All of these mixed signals made me so crazy that I couldn’t eat or sleep. I was so distracted that in one week, I locked my keys in the car twice and had to call someone to jumpstart my car battery another two times because I had left the lights on. To preserve my sanity, I decided that if we didn’t move past the friendship phase by the end of the semester, that I would give up or at least add roadside assistance to my car insurance plan.
I spent December 4th, 1995, the same way I did every other collegiate birthday- writing papers and cramming for finals. Grunge-boy insisted that he’d pick me up at 9:00pm for a study break and something to eat. I was expecting cheap tacos and maybe even a celebratory cupcake. However, when I got in the car, he told me to put on a blindfold and that he had a birthday surprise for me. After driving for awhile, we got out of the car and he led me through what sounded like a cave (I later learned it was a garage), down stairs and back up some more stairs. When he finally removed the blindfold, we were standing in his parent’s dining room, where he had prepared a gorgeous dinner, complete with candles, music, and flowers. He completely swept me off my feet and even John Hughes himself could not have orchestrated a better evening. It was so much more than just a “happy” birthday and I’m sure I must have been absolutely beaming. I only managed to stop smiling long enough to participate in the most perfect first kiss ever. Since then, we’ve shared 13 years of marriage and 3 awesome kids, but it all started with the best birthday ever.
(For the record: He denies ever telling me that he didn’t want to kiss me that morning-but why would I make that up?)


"Tonight, Tonight" by Smashing Pumpkins was playing the first time we kissed. I couldn't figure out how to fit it in to my essay, but there couldn't have been a more perfect song. I know Corrigan was probably singing about Chicago. Provo is also a city by the lake and it just so happens that it is also where I was born. Here are the lyrics.


Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feel

Believe, believe in me, believe
Believe that life can change
That you’re not stuck in vain
Were not the same, were different tonight
Tonight, so bright
Tonight

And you know you’re never sure
But you’re sure you could be right
If you held yourself up to the light
And the embers never fade in your city by the lake
The place where you were born

Believe, believe in me, believe
Believe in the resolute urgency of now
And if you believe there’s not a chance tonight
Tonight, so bright
Tonight

Well crucify the insincere tonight
Well make things right, well feel it all tonight
Well find a way to offer up the night tonight
The indescribable moments of your life tonight
The impossible is possible tonight
Believe in me as I believe in you, tonight